Climate Change Jokes

By January 1, 2012 November 17th, 2012 Climate Change Jokes

Happy New Year! I take no responsibility in reporting the following (Ha-Ha-ha-ha):

  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – There is no known evidence that light bulbs burn out. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – The human species is too inconsequential to change a light bulb.  Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – It is too early to say if the light bulb needs changing.  Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – The light bulb will eventually begin working again.  Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – The light bulb is not really burned out, it is a scientific conspiracy.  Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – They will never agree on exactly how to change the light bulb.  Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – It is more cost effective to live in the dark.  Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – We only know how to screw the planet.  Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – The Internet has proven that the light bulb is not actually burned out but is burning even brighter than before.  Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – There were far more burned out light bulbs in the ancient past, why should we change them today? Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – Climate scientists don’t change light bulbs. But! They tell us how light bulbs have changed in the past and how they are going to change in the future. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – Do you see the Chinese changing their light bulbs? Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  I don’t know but you better hurry, they are being banned because of climate change. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – Changing light bulbs is for engineers. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  Duh! It’s not the light bulb; IT’S THE SUN, STUPID!!! Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  The luminosity of the sun is of the order of 10^26 watts, so clearly the effect of any single light bulb is so small as to be negligible. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – The climate skeptic believes it will clearly be more cost effective to adapt to the darkness. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  It is far too expensive to change the light blub. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many climate scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?  None – Light bulbs have been burning out since the days of the dinosaurs, why should be change them now?  Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many surrealist painters does it take to change a light bulb? Fish.
  • What happens when you rub two climate scientists together? Global warming. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • Why did the climate change denier cross the road? It was just a natural cycle. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • Why are blondes our best chance for solving climate change? Blondes know the meaning of ‘hot’! Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
    • You know Global Warming is real when:
      Hot water comes out of both taps.
      You go outside and your shadow stays inside.
      The chickens are laying hard boiled eggs.
      The trees are whistling for dogs.
      You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
      Morning dew is an oddity.
  • Why are blondes our best chance for solving climate change? Blondes know the meaning of ‘hot’! Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • Why are surfers our best chance for solving climate change? Tall buildings sticking out of the surf get in the way of a good wave. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • How many politicians does it take to solve climate change? The theory that politicians solve anything at all is yet to be proven. Ha-Ha-ha-ha!
  • What did one climate change denier say to the other? “I’m not hot, and this ain’t Hell” Ha-Ha-ha-ha!